One more final....just one more...and I am FREEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! WOOHOO!! Of course, my Bio final is my last final, but don't worry people, even if I decided to jump out the window, I'll be fine, we're on the first-story! You were saying you felt like a pet on a leash, Eric, but what if you WERE on a leash? I went to the mall on Friday night and I saw this kid whose parents had him on a leash...hmmmm..I don't know, it seemed a little strange..do you think they sell special leashes for children, or are they just dog leashes used for another purpose? And if they are different leashes, where would you buy them? Would you walk into Sears and say, "Yeah, I'm looking for a leash for my kid, he's about yay-big, kind of a thick wrist though. What do you have in the BIG kids department?" The whole thing is a little bizarre-what is this world coming to?

gung hay fat choy. man see sing ee. all the cantonese people in the house, woo. "evah-lee-wan?" what are you, tai mai shu? I notice that there are people in the world that I have never met who are perfectly willing to give me money. why?
I feel like a pet on a leash. must get job.
Seanbaby.com. trust me. I heard about this freshman girl who skied into a tree and got amnesia, so I thought aloud, "you know, there's only one thing you need to remember about amnesia. damn." some people thought that was funny, others offensive. but here's the thing: is it possible to be funny without offending someone? excluding puns on weird english language things, of course. yeah, it's senior year. why am I still working with the same diligence as before? maybe because I can't go any lower.
heh. time to burn. like paper. I accidentally inhaled the smoke from this paper I'd rolled up like a cigarette and lit, and it stung like a set of very small, sharp cleats swung around and around by the laces.
so don't smoke anything.

Q: How far can you walk into a senior year?
A: Halfway, 'cause after that you'd be walking out of a senior year.

hallo evah-lee-wan... gosh i haven't blogged here for a while. but i've been blogging like mad on the other one; seems like more and more i'm getting this "way too late to be up and i'm sick and have homework and am procrastinating and pondering nothingthoughts and dreaming of being literary" shite. hmm. so, yeah, go comment on my silly waste of time stortrooper and then go make your own. or not. but hey, we're all second-semester seniors. so we have time to burn.

haha not me. i have mock trial and science club and yearbook still. and this eastcoast weather gave me a cold and a headache. oh well.

slightly belated gong xi fa cai (the proper pinyin, hehe) everyone. image: for no reason at all, the swaying rear end of a yellow chevy van ahead of you, emblazoned with some repairman's logo. you're not driving, so you have the luxury of aiming your camera and taking a picture. the van and you part ways at the next intersection.

Jean is very tired. Jean just started her finals today. She has her calc final tomorrow::cringe!::. She should be studying, but she just got up form her 2 hour nap, and she's too groggy to do anything but post a blog or play with her TI-85. Ok, out of third person, now!! So my art final was extremely bizarre, I was expecting something written, or even a large sculpture, but she threw candy on our desk and told us to draw it "realistically, then eat it." So I ended up spending 2 hours perfecting my tootsie roll pop, and pondering the point of it all...anyway, I must go, and procrastinate some more and review! A curse upon all of you who are finished-bah!! j/k, May the schwartz be with you!! *Maybe the dingo ate your baby!*-Elaine-Seinfeld

I took my last couple finals today. I didn't exactly pass with flying colors but perhaps my colors had sufficient thrust to hover around a bit. No major celebrations though... after my econ final I had to do 3 hours of C++
programming to make up for some missed assignments. How's that for anticlimax? I had to stay in school until most everyone was gone. It was a little depressing crossing the barren parking lot to get to my car. The only thing there was only the occasional puddle. Even the scavenging parking-lot seagulls had already gone home.
Still, I am pleased. There is so much cool stuff that must be done: do things with criminally-neglected friends, make myself a website, watch some movies, and on a more whimsical note (not really) try my hand at some wannabe Picasso-ish cubist art. So much promise. almost Too much.
HA Ha. Microsoft was hacked (allegedly) and all its sites have been down for... oh wait, just checked, it's up now. Darn. Well, it was funny while it (allegedly) lasted. Um, yeah.
The Backstreet Boys don't suck as much now.
i can;t believe i just said that...

distribution = random. I haven't decided yet, because I still need to test a kernel, they tell me. it's almost chinese new year. woo.
happy birthday to everyone.
I was thinking the other day that depression is funny. therefore, if I ever get depressed, I realize that it's all quite absurd, laugh, and cease being depressed. it's the best self-defense mechanism there is.
wouldn't it be funny if you opened a fortune cookie, and it said, "Behind you!" or "Look out below!" or "Hello." or "Be afraid." or "All signs point to yes." or "You're going to be hungry again in an hour: order now!"
"Your soul is mine!" "Drive safely." "Yo' momma." "Thank you for saving me! It was terribly cramped in there!" or, from Garfield, "A runaway hubcap will lodge itself up your nose."
so many bud commercials. it's for bud ice. dooby dooby doo, scooby doo, where are you?
a challenge from dostoyevsky: try to spend the next thirty seconds not thinking about a blue-eyed polar bear.
the second semester came, and there was great rejoicing throughout the land.

Ack!! hello everyone!! I miss you!! so, here I am, on a saturday night/very early sunday morning, waiting for the snow that may never come(or it may have come, and I just don't see it cause it's dark!) I wish it were spring....Oh well!! Midyear grade reports are being sent out on Monday!!(for me at least!) So technically, I should no longer have to worry, but I probably will anyway, because I am Jean-the obsessive-compulsive girl who put index cards on the walls-hear me roar! Hehe, I dragged out my old nintendo about a month ago, and I've been playing really intense games of Super Mario Brothers and Duck Hunt(a.k.a.the game that never ends!). Too bad you guys can't come over and play!! My brother and I have been getting really violent when we play-so maybe it's better that you guys don't come over-you may never leave. Anyway, I should go to bed, g'night all! Happy late birthday Lisa!

happy birthday lisa! or, happy before-birthday.

linux, is it, eric? what distribution? well... i'll tell you that i've tried it. it's one of those things i have no reason to learn but i want to anyway. the kind of thing for which i put off important work. but for some reason it never quite caught on with linux. i still have it on my hard drive, in any case... maybe someday when i have more time i'll return.

speaking of which, am i the only one who feels nearly overwhelmed with work of late? i suppose it's my own fault, doing so many clubs and all.

wow. I've decided tonight to learn and install linux, and stuff. it seems rather difficult, but I've just learned that everything can be seen as a file. as data.
help at all? interesting at all? but what about the hard drive that the os operates on? is that device a file too? hmm...
no visions or images. just confusion and the impression that something indescribably cool is this close to my comprehension.

to change the html for this page you have to go to blogger and edit the template, not do it from geocities.

ah... the cult of "bonk-boko-bono-bon-bon" is spreading... haha...

battle angel alita. i read part of it a while ago... ever read ghost in the shell? i think it might be by the same author/illustrator. masamune shirow, for which there are many fan pages on the web. i love that postapocalyptic stuff... more and more i believe that there's a yearning within me for excitement because my life is too boring. everything i experience is literary, not in the sense of having any certain quality, but in the sense that it's vicarious, imagined, sucked up through print and moving media. while i plod away through life heroes in books and movies thunder in my head. if only i were detached enough from reality to completely submerge myself in fantasy forever. or, if only i were a superhero. heh.

and then what's worse is i'm beginning to lose the ability to distinguish between fact and fiction. the idea of war, starvation, terrible human suffering is the same to me when it comes in a newspaper and in a novel. there's something wrong with that. but i don't think it's a problem i alone suffer. there's too much information in this world and not enough reality. or something.

how strange one's life appears when he traces the origins of an event back to its source. i'm reading invisible cities, by italo calvino. it's... well... largely over my head, i suppose. heh. i'm certainly enjoying it but i don't know if i'm really getting all i can out of it. then: italo calvino. avant-garde italian author. why? because an essay in the application to amherst quoted from a novel of his. it was... interesting. damn my inarticulate babbling. and even tho i never did apply to amherst i bought the book. liked it. bought others. hm.

quarter ending this month. this means: french skit, government project, english essay, physics final, math final, beginning of philosophy class at vassar, end of stupid computer apps class, father's birthday, computer show, dubya's inauguration, financial aid deadlines. as if i qualify. whew.

image: he sights along the crudely hewn barrel, then backs off in case the makeshift propellant malfunctions. throws the lever and the cannon roars, spewing fire. the vodka bottle vanishes in a spray of light.

dammit, I tried to change the mailto that says "join us." to "join us. don't be afraid." and possibly add "we will not come to your home and eat your brains." but it won't change. also, I am becoming increasingly aware that "bonk-boko-bono-bon-bon" is insanely cute. cartoon raccoons are immensely cute. so cute I believe I will have to go to chinatown and try to buy stickers of cartoon raccoons playing their stomachs. must nap now.

the economist praised counterstrike and cited it as evidence that the most popular multiplayer game is more about strategy than mindless violence. one cannot run into a room, guns blazing to win etc. I'm going to be deleting one of jen's entries now, because she posted it twice. actually, considering my mental capacity right now, at 6:11 in the morning, after having written a very disturbing story using the framing story technique excessively in only three pages in which there is an anal retentive toddler with oedipal feelings strong enough to arm wrestle, a neurotic and psychotic and oedipal high schooler, and a psychotic high school teacher, I am too drained and frightened by the shitty quality of my story, I will probably not be able to successfully purge jen's excess essay from our collective space. I will do my best to inhibit free expression, however.
I would like to share something that a friend of mine came up with. "Hi, Carson, I'd like to request Britney Spears, "From the Bottom of My Broken Heart" because I have a deviated septum and I know what it's like to have a broken heart. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
I'd also like to share my thought about the anal retentive toddler, aspiring artist. he takes a dump in the toilet, leaves it, and calls it "Crapsody in Blue."
My teacher is going to committ me. fantasy worlds rock. who hasn't personally acted out the lord of the rings?

image: Crapsody in Blue, framed by a white porcelain bowl. good night, everybody. I'm going to fall on my face now.

i made everyone an admin. so you can edit the html and add new team members and such. be careful eh. i hope no one will ever mad and delete everyone else. but that's the nature of trust.

wow. ultra-beautiful. $10,000 for blogger, and i haven't even donated yet. speaking of money... speaking of work... hmm. i need a job. all the more now because my dad's worried i'm not learning about fiscal responsibility and is poised to demand that i earn my own allowance for the first year of college. aw, you mean i have to earn something? damn, i was just getting used to getting everything from my parents. hmm.

ah... wasting crazy time reading books... of late i've been reading like a madman. instead of sleeping. dunno why, but at least now i can't complain that i'm losing my reading habit. the other day i picked up speaker for the dead at 11:30 pm and read until 2:30 in the morning. (when my dad noticed. heh.)

bonk-boko-bono-bon-bon. hehehehehehehe... ah... so inexplicably drawn to these cute little japanese cartoony animal things. wait a minute. the economist? counterstrike? wow. what'd they say?

thanks for the bra advice too. I've been looking.
wait, no I haven't.
the economist wrote an article about counter-strike. the freakin' economist. ice cream? perhaps chocolate peanut peanut butter, because if I were to be an ice cream, fated to melt in someone's mouth hopefully, I would want to bring as much joy to as many people as possible, and for those of you who haven't have peanut butter chocolatey ice cream with chocolate covered peanuts, that particular flavor WILL bring the most joy to everyone.
including people with peanut allergies.
ESPECIALLY people with peanut allergies. forbidden joy before death. mmm...lawrence is also too lazy too work out...it's justifiable.
although I did play basketball yesterday. in the snow. that got unpleasant very quickly. stupid. fragments.
I'm in school right now. probably less bored than those of you in stupid computer applications courses, but screwed for work and bitching rather than working because it's more entertaining. have fun slumping, all of you.

oh yeah. if anyone wants to share a file as i just did, just login at geocities with "hv002000," etc. and go to "file manager" or "upload."

hmm. behind me some moron is playing a gunshot sound over and over with powerpoint. no bitterness. at least this is a semester course.

welcome lisa! yay! our little family is growing. hehe.

hm. while we're on the topic of frustration and futility and such, i might as well bring up my stupid "computer apps" class. which i'm only taking cos my school won't accept the harvard credit from the summer. policy. right. stupid fucks. yeah here's my best work from the class so far. learning how to make a powerpoint show. ooo. (needs powerpoint to view, evidemment.)

hmm. i have a hard time thinking of blogger eating my entries as a good thing... always very irritating, and i can never work up the effort to write the same entry a second time. same with email. ah well. here's an image: swatches of black hair on barbershop tile, and a new face in the mirror. ambivalence.

gee... a few days ago I thought I had blogged something, but looking back I guess it must have gone to that graveyard that things that the net swallows up tend to go. Anyway, that doesn't matter. But "the Practice" is on right now so I'm going to do a quick entry - a drive-by blogging if you will. Jen's ice cream flavor question... tough one. I don't know, but I'm not going to stew over it. With these things, it's best to just have an answer even if it is arbitrary, and then keep it until you find a better one. So I am pistachio. Hear me roar. Anyway, I thought that I'd kick back after my apps were mailed, but it looks like I'm going to be running until the end of the semester. Funny, how each time I think relief's on the way, it gets delayed a little longer. Great. Now I sound bitter. too bad, I'm too lazy to edit that last part out. And now you know the rest of the story. Be good and observant, folks. rawr.

hey. my blog for a media update and a question on religious experiences.

wow! cool! blogs springing up like mushrooms in the rain. you know... jen, i'm infinitely jealous of you right now because you have warm sunsets and twilights to write of. for my writing, i have slush and hard grey skies. granted, grey skies have given me writing-food before, but i would so much rather be warm. tomorrow's high is 41 fahrenheit. which is a lot warmer than it's been.

aversion to driving?? not me, oh hell no not me. i've only been able to drive once this week cos my dad's been needing the car. i put it to, eh, good use too, roaring down route 9 like a madman (or a reckless teenager), imagining the other drivers giving me the finger. but it's not about recklessness... it's all about control. precision. i'm always exploring my limits.

hey, i don't have pecs either. in fact, my younger brother's probably stronger than i am. he's also taller. but i can't help that. must... work... out... eh.

ice cream... um... green tea with a swirl of jalapeno. generally placid and pleasantly bland, but biting when necessary. perhaps more than necessary.

I seem to have forgotten the link in my exuberance.
I don't just like it, I love it.
don't click if you have a good opinion of me.

welcome to the weekend, everybody. I had written this long, ranting entry, but it got killed by purgatory. I am Small. I have no pecs. The Pecless wonder, if you will. No-Pec Shakur.
the god thing's interesting. my sister was expressing her fear while watching that ad for christian rock with all the entranced singers. I think, jen, "some guy" once said that he didn't believe in god, but he was scared of him. that might be a belief system; to hedge your bets, you pray to all gods. just in case it's allah instead of some other guy/girl/state of being.
lawrence is adorable. we're all adorable. you know, I think fear inspires hatred more often than awe. maybe beauty's terrible and painful because we want more. or I want more. Dostoyevsky thinks a lot of things. what makes things beautiful? perhaps the fulfillment of some selfish desire. unfortunately, I don't like that line of reasoning because it leads to the assertion that mother teresa wasn't really charitable, but helping suffering people answered some need of her own. Of course, I don't like that liine of reasoning on the other line because I can't dismiss the argument because I don't like the conclusion.
btw, I did wind up making my own stupid li'l blog for no reason.

Wednesday, January 03, 2001

Hello all,
I haven't got much time so I'm making this as quick as possible. Since Monday, I've been in the labrinth (of my room) attempting to work non-stop on various homework and academic-realted things. Why? Good question. I was scheduled to go on a 5 day trip (Mon-Fri) to mexico with my family, but my parents decided that it would be more beneficial to me if I were to stay at home and study for those same 5 days. So here I am. Originally, they wanted me to not tell anyone that I had changed my plans, unplug my phone, not go online, and not go out. What we worked out was that I'd tell my friends I'm home but unavailable and I'd limit my online time though I still have to keep my phone unplugged and not go anywhere. So all in all, I feel sad that I don;t get to do things with my friends, but I also recognize that this is probably the best thing I could do for the sake of my faltering semester grades. My... aren't I a good Asian boy.
This blog has turned out quite a bit longer than I intended it to go. Well then. I like blood too. I like getting my blood drawn, actually. And not because it's an kind of altruistic thing to do (although that makes it good as well). I like holding the little packet of blood that they take out of you and feeling its weight and warmth. It's perhaps weird but I somehow enjoy it. The Eric that's been making entries... would that happen to be big or small? I didn't get to know either very well so perhaps someone could lend me a clue. I suppose that this blogging thing has been the closest thing to contact with actual people that I'll have until (hopefully) Friday... possibly Sunday. Enjoy freedom, fellows.

yay hurray! content! ah... i feel so paternal all of a sudden. like i did with those freshmen on the ultimate team before they got annoying. (hey i wrote a stanford essay on that.) hmm.

jen, you've never had a bloody nose before? wow. you're sheltered and i have bad veins. or something. and... not that i necessarily believe this, but about blood not being beautiful because everyone has it... maybe it's beautiful and only a select few notice it. haha, you're not l337 (elite) like me and jen. and... umm... merriam-webster says the word is "stichomythia," with an "i." but interesting nonetheless. like in le bourgeois gentilhomme when cleonte, covielle, lucile, and nicole are arguing. ok pointless reference.

cmon jason spill the beans. heh

jen, that last post was (thrillingly? appallingly?) self-aware, maybe even self-devouring, like the serpent-eating-its-tail motif they use on rings and such. fascinating.

dancing around oneself. hm.

True to form, I notice after posting that I used a gerund, "editing," instead of a verb of the perfect tense. I could edit it, but that would be, to borry jen's terms, almost whorish, if I were being paid. no, I will simply point out my error to all four people who might stumble upon it themselves. also, I was not aware that the blogger field supported in-text html. I also was not aware that I remembered how to make links. the refreshing orange text shows otherwise, though. don't click on it! it's not a real web site! I was just commenting on the little "insert link" button that blogger very conveniently provides at the top of the screen. they're nice folk, huh? lulling us into a sense of security with their easy buttons. I realize now that blogger goes by pacific time, and, according to them, I should've gone to sleep a long time ago. but I can't, because I'm busy blogging and preparing to do work due last month. I think I'm taking up a lot of space now. perhaps to follow in the lawrence way and make my own blog...interesting...very interesting...

I believe this is a new one. may frith strike me if I'm wrong. hey, jen, I'm getting blood drawn today for the third time in a year. doctors know what's wrong with you? they have no idea with me. so, because my mom thinks I'm too tired, they're going to take blood from me.

um.

I'm no doctor, but that didn't work the last two times. btw, blood isn't that gorgeous. if it were that special, why does everyone have it?

btw, we're not whores. we do it for free. it's not terribly philisophical or deep, but it's true. lawrence isn't paying me shit. he ain't not gonna do nothin'. you know, this 1/1/01 shit sucks. it's not as fascinating to me. we should shorten it to 1/1/1. if you can hack the automatic date thingie to display 1/1/1, that would be awesome. of course, it's the second now. damnation.

also, I accidentally editing my first post out. yes, silly eric. silly, silly eric. I never edit intentionally; I send other people my stuff and have them read it. of course, because I didn't want anyone stealing my college essays, which I feared out of temporary paranoia, I didn't send them to anybody and sent them all out without review. consequently, the university of chicago will shortly receive a "favorites" list that includes the category, "Favorite misrepresented Italian philosopher." A free prize to the first person who thinks of the thinker I thought of.
Simplicitosity
word of the day: stychomythia. what does it mean? look it up.

Wow. This is neat. I'm not sure what to write. Actually, I don;t have that much time to "blog" anything right now. I have to hurry and get asleep so I can get up early and do homework for the entire day and repeat this process for the next 5 days. Why? Well, for reasons that I don;t have time to go into right now. Maybe Jen can tell you about it. er, yeah. Happy new year everyone. It's a kind of meaningless holiday but fun nonetheless. Signing off now.

happy new year. go to my personal blog for the long version.